Somehow, I must’ve been asleep for the better part of the last thirty years. I can remember when Miller’s department store was in downtown Knoxville and my mother stressed the importance of courtesy to my younger self. As we would wait for the elevator, my mother made sure that I knew to wait until the passengers had gotten out before I made my anxious, youthful entrance. It was the end of an era, I think. Perhaps it was a hold over from the “children should be seen and not heard” mentality of the ‘50s; but there is something “right” about it still.
These days I am overcome with the lack of thinking in America. Everyday a new situation or experience sheds light further down the dark hole that is the America that we now know. Would you like examples?
OK. Let’s see…
Now when I am riding in elevators, I am amazed that I can be riding along and get to my floor and before I can ever even blink - the persons waiting have already barged in and are ready to get going. They must think that I am riding just for the sheer hell of it. As though I have nowhere to go or nothing better to do.
OR
When I moved to Nashville and you wanted to get into traffic, there was always a wave given or received from each party involved in said merge. These days the wave is usually replaced by the “social” finger –despite ownership OR fault. I am constantly amazed at how many people out there on the highways seem to live in the delusion that they are semi-professional NASCAR drivers. I can just see them hoisting their fat bellies every morning into their 58” waist pants and exclaim “Goddamn! Eating pork rinds in the LazyBoy is fun and all; but today I’m gonna be just like that goddamned Dale Earnhart!!!”
They crowd the Tennessee highways more often than not these days and they continually make me wonder if we shouldn’t thin the herd a bit. I mean….really?
OR
Though I may be a long bearded, independent thinking feller living in a clean shaven, faceless, bland society; it does not mean that my facial hair impedes my hearing. There is not a week that goes by that someone stands directly in front of, beside, or behind me and muses about what kind of person I could be.
The best was my recent trip to Starbucks (I know…I bought into the corporate blandification that day. Hold it against me! I deserve it!). I was quietly dressing my coffee at the little creamer kiosk when I realized that the conversation beside me had taken a weird turn. I kept my head down, but my ears up. This is what I heard…
“Why, that’s almost as bad as that goddamn ZZ Top”, one gruff voice mused.
“I know it! How disgusting! I used to have a beard but I had the sense to keep it trimmed. Then my work made me shave and now I just have this.”, the second gruff voice chimed in.
At this point I looked up and saw two firemen sitting beside the creamer stand and looking right at me. I glared back at them unflinching and unapologetic. And can you believe that they kept on talking?
“I reckon he doesn’t have a job”, the first idiot said to his pal.
I left in disgust, shaking my head the entire way to the truck. Do I somehow look like Billy Gibbons’ deaf cousin? Is my beard obscuring what must be hearing aids?
I wonder about this often enough and then I talked to my equally hirsute friend, Elmer, about it and he tells me it happens to him. THEN…we were together just after this Starbucks experience and somebody stood beside us and muttered the same stuff, except this time they included Elmer (who must also be deaf) when they said:
“Check it out! The short one has a big beard too!”
Maybe short people are deaf too.
So…I digress. Back in Miller’s department store we learned the basics of many life lessons. Wait your turn, don’t stare or make fun of the handicapped, be courteous, and mind your manners at all times. I am beginning to believe that the hills, hollers, caves, and virtually every other place where people were brought up we deprived of a Miller’s department store or a mother or mind of any kind. I have to wonder aloud, “Where did we go wrong?”
These days I am overcome with the lack of thinking in America. Everyday a new situation or experience sheds light further down the dark hole that is the America that we now know. Would you like examples?
OK. Let’s see…
Now when I am riding in elevators, I am amazed that I can be riding along and get to my floor and before I can ever even blink - the persons waiting have already barged in and are ready to get going. They must think that I am riding just for the sheer hell of it. As though I have nowhere to go or nothing better to do.
OR
When I moved to Nashville and you wanted to get into traffic, there was always a wave given or received from each party involved in said merge. These days the wave is usually replaced by the “social” finger –despite ownership OR fault. I am constantly amazed at how many people out there on the highways seem to live in the delusion that they are semi-professional NASCAR drivers. I can just see them hoisting their fat bellies every morning into their 58” waist pants and exclaim “Goddamn! Eating pork rinds in the LazyBoy is fun and all; but today I’m gonna be just like that goddamned Dale Earnhart!!!”
They crowd the Tennessee highways more often than not these days and they continually make me wonder if we shouldn’t thin the herd a bit. I mean….really?
OR
Though I may be a long bearded, independent thinking feller living in a clean shaven, faceless, bland society; it does not mean that my facial hair impedes my hearing. There is not a week that goes by that someone stands directly in front of, beside, or behind me and muses about what kind of person I could be.
The best was my recent trip to Starbucks (I know…I bought into the corporate blandification that day. Hold it against me! I deserve it!). I was quietly dressing my coffee at the little creamer kiosk when I realized that the conversation beside me had taken a weird turn. I kept my head down, but my ears up. This is what I heard…
“Why, that’s almost as bad as that goddamn ZZ Top”, one gruff voice mused.
“I know it! How disgusting! I used to have a beard but I had the sense to keep it trimmed. Then my work made me shave and now I just have this.”, the second gruff voice chimed in.
At this point I looked up and saw two firemen sitting beside the creamer stand and looking right at me. I glared back at them unflinching and unapologetic. And can you believe that they kept on talking?
“I reckon he doesn’t have a job”, the first idiot said to his pal.
I left in disgust, shaking my head the entire way to the truck. Do I somehow look like Billy Gibbons’ deaf cousin? Is my beard obscuring what must be hearing aids?
I wonder about this often enough and then I talked to my equally hirsute friend, Elmer, about it and he tells me it happens to him. THEN…we were together just after this Starbucks experience and somebody stood beside us and muttered the same stuff, except this time they included Elmer (who must also be deaf) when they said:
“Check it out! The short one has a big beard too!”
Maybe short people are deaf too.
So…I digress. Back in Miller’s department store we learned the basics of many life lessons. Wait your turn, don’t stare or make fun of the handicapped, be courteous, and mind your manners at all times. I am beginning to believe that the hills, hollers, caves, and virtually every other place where people were brought up we deprived of a Miller’s department store or a mother or mind of any kind. I have to wonder aloud, “Where did we go wrong?”
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Ditto on the courtesy issue but with one addendum...the people walking down the hall where we are both gainfully employed...how many times can I be squished against a cubicle wall because two people walking side by side in the opposite direction don't feel like sharing the hall way? I'm going to just start running into people now
ReplyDeleteand my new favorite quote: "the short one has a beard too!"
Scott
I like to feel that as we grow older we learn -- that we don't know everything; that life will knock you down a few times; that cool people come in all shapes, sizes colors and lifestyles, and that you shouldn't pre-judge someone based on their appearance. (After all, to pre-judge is to be prejudiced.) Having said all that, you have me wondering about what might have changed in society to account for the diminution of politeness or common courtesy. More mothers work now than were working 30 years ago, but it seems to me that both parents are responsible for teaching children how to act; it's not only up to the moms. Maybe parents need to control their kids' access to computers and TV in their formative years, and thus avoid some of the coarsening of the culture. I don't know. As for your comments about Tennessee drivers, I'm not a very good driver myself, but I've never seen anything like the drivers of Nashville, who frequently drive in the opposing lane simply because it's convenient. Maybe it's to be expected in a state that is so lax when it comes to vehicular inspections that one is frequently passed by cars and trucks that would not be considered road-worthy in almost any other state. Who needs headlights anyway? All one can do is to leave plenty of space between yourself and the other "drivers," and stay home when it snows.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that the elevator leading from the tunnel under Henley Street to Miller's is where I developed my claustrophobia. Got trapped in the damned thing with my Mom when I was about 5. Didn't ride in another elevator until I was 12, when I forced myself to confront my fear in the relatively benign-looking elevators at McGhee Tyson Airport.
ReplyDeleteAs for getting older, I think the lesson that keeps resonating with me is that I don't know near as much as I thought I did just a few years ago; the older I get, the less I know. So many things I thought I had definitive answers for have crumbled over the years. But there's really something liberating in admitting ignorance. I now embrace total agnosticism in nearly every facet of my life except for music. Maybe in a few years I'll realize that I don't know it all musically, but that ain't happening yet!